Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Memories.

Memories feel like they are a constant reminder of the good and bad times. Memories can be selected, and we generally prefer to remember the happier times. And sometimes the bad memories, or ones you'd choose to forget, are suddenly remembered.

Before I go any further, just a little note, I wont be using real names.

I have a friend, named Luke and we've been best friends for about 2 years now. About a month ago, this other girl, Julia,started hanging out with us, which was great... to begin with...

Luke began to talk to Julia more than he did me, so I tried to get into their conversation, which was hard when they were in the middle of their conversation and I hadn't heard the first half of the conversation, so I gave up on that. Since that day, I decided that since they were talking, I would stay out of it because I saw it as rude. So one day, my mum picks me up from my boyfriends house, and we began discussing my problems with Luke. Then she brought up a memory from grade 5:
My old "best friend" at the time asked if I wanted to share a cabin with her at camp, so I said yes. Only to discover on the day that she only invited me into her cabin so that her and her friends could throw me out.
This memory had been long forgotten. And when mum brought up this story, I automatically thought of all of the so called "friends" I've had in the past and how they have only shat on me and treated me badly. And for the last couple of days I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

On my 18th birthday, the one guy I've known pretty much my whole life didn't say happy birthday. And he said that Facebook didn't remind him about my 18th birthday party. One of the guys I thought I was really close with didn't come to my party or say happy birthday to me on my birthday. The other guy said to me once, when I had my first boyfriend, "You ditch your friends for your boyfriend, what happened to bro's before hoes?" (Just for clarification, I am a girl but am considered as one of "the boys")
Mind you, this was about 2 years ago. Anyway, he recently got a girlfriend himself and doesn't make time for his mates... And he says to me, "What happened to bro's before hoes?"

One of my old friends Lisa, told me that she didn't like the fact that I took everything so seriously and said that me complaining about my home life annoyed her. It wasn't so much complaining as it was venting of my frustrations regarding my mother, father and brothers. And,I mean, your friends are supposed to listen to what you have to say and listen to your issues, and she saw this as a fault in me. I still don't understand her thinking to this day, and it's been a whole year since it happened.

I don't know why I still bother having friends. They're your friend one minute, then all of the sudden they're your worst enemy.

Is there any sort of method you use to relieve the pain of memories?
Is there any way I could, perhaps, forget again?

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog. I love questions and comments, so feel free to make comments or ask questions.

P.S: Fred Flintstone is the bomb!